Even having their face blown sideways while sky diving. Some people love to pepper you with pictures of themselves posing in front of the mirror in their gym clothes. If you think the creepy United Arab Emirates is the place to be, youвЂ™re probably not for me.ДЄnd what is it about ruddy mirror selfies? Seriously, what is it about people opening their curtains onto this dreadful giant desert dune that makes them think it sparks envy in others? (file photo of Dubai skyline) Sharing holiday snaps is just about acceptable. Seriously, what is it about people opening their curtains onto this dreadful giant desert dune that makes them think it sparks envy in others?ДЇrankly, shuddering along the Jubilee line on a Monday morning with your head nestled inside a neighbourвЂ™s armpit still beats a week in this soulless man-made monument to vulgarity.

Or, worst of all, sprawled inside a first-class aeroplane cabin. Show-offs, in general, are a turn-off, so thatвЂ™s anyone posting pictures of themselves in Michelin-starred restaurants or, God forbid, the lavatories of Mayfair nightclubs. After all, having your mobile phone out on the table when youвЂ™re out for dinner is a pretty good way of flicking the V - why advertise the fact that youвЂ™re likely to snap your way through every course should we ever make it that far? POSH BLAGGING Posting pictures of cocktails is OK if youвЂ™re celebrating just passing your GCSEs, but itвЂ™s hardly adult behaviour. Banging on about your self-care routine will not change your appearance - although it will make you less attractive as a prospective date. Message to wellness devotees: drinking water with lemon in it will not make you look like Elizabeth Hurley.

YouвЂ™ve got a problem with Leos? Fascinating. See also: Astrology or any new age form of mysticism. My mindset is I want to dash to the nearest bathroom and vomit. You all know the sort of back-of-a -fag-packet philosophy I mean - allegedly heart-warming nonsense often written on pieces of driftwood: вЂDonвЂ™t look back, itвЂ™s not the way youвЂ™re goingвЂ™, вЂLife is only as good as your mindsetвЂ™. My mental list of irritants and dating app pet hates has lengthened over the years and I am at last ready to share it.Д®vidence of any of the following gaffes on your profile equals a thumbs down.Д¬od philosophy is a big no-no. But itвЂ™s not the only thing to guarantee itвЂ™s a no from me. Nor does it surprise me that it turns out women are even hotter on this point than men, with 58 per cent of ladies saying they would be вЂturned offвЂ™ by someone who repeatedly misspelt words or bungled their grammar, compared with 45 per cent of chaps.ДonвЂ™t think drinking water with lemon will make you look like Liz Hurley, pictured, says HENRY DEEDESДЄ female friend once told me that if she were ever to get вЂyourвЂ™ and вЂyouвЂ™reвЂ™ mixed up in one of her text messages or social media posts, I should assume that she had been kidnapped and this was her way of trying to signal to me, such was her fastidiousness when it came to use of language.Д®ven the tiniest things can prove massive turn-offs.ДЄs someone with more experience of dating apps than I should probably admit to, I happily confess that poor grammar has me swiping left without even a momentвЂ™s thought. After all, would you send a potential partner a picture via text with your unmade bed in the background, or your frilly underdrawers still drying on a laundry line? I didnвЂ™t think so. It shows a certain self-respect, a pride in how we wish to be seen by others. Part of me canвЂ™t help but feel encouraged we are such sticklers for decent English. Other bugbears included using more than one exclamation mark and employing text speak such as YOLO (вЂYou Only Live OnceвЂ™), OMG (вЂOh My GodвЂ™) and LOL (вЂLaughing Out LoudвЂ™).ДЄnd thatвЂ™s without ridiculous emojis to contend with. A recent poll of 2,000 British daters found that 52 per cent would look down on messages littered with spelling and punctuation errors. Thanks to the prevalence of mobile phones, even the smallest issue can put people off before theyвЂ™ve discovered how a prospective partner takes their coffee in the morning. I say вЂincreasinglyвЂ™ fussy because itвЂ™s not just wonky bodily defects or unpalatable political opinions which hamper many of us from finding our perfect partner. Come to think of it, the fact the referendum even arose on our first date probably suggests I had a lucky escape. Putting down her (rather sad-looking) vodka, lime and soda, she declared she couldnвЂ™t possibly spend a second more with someone so clearly narrow-minded. We are, it seems, becoming a nation of increasingly fussy daters HENRY DEEDES:В Too short, too bald, bad shoes, wrong star sign.

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